10 Signs You May Not Finish the Marathon

These signs are giving me the feeling it's going to be a tough run:

• 10. Breakfast...McDonalds. Lunch....McDonalds. Dinner.....McDonalds.
• 9. While waiting in the start corral you are wondering if wearing a brand new pair of shoes is a good idea.
• 8. Training program: 1 mile a day, 2 mile long run on the second Tuesday of next week.
• 7. You realize the night before that a marathon is 26.2 miles NOT 2.62.
• 6. At every aid station you take a gatorade, a water, and a nap.
• 5. Your training book is "You can finish a Marathon" by Richard Simmons.
• 4. You start to taper your training 6 months ahead of the race.
• 3. At mile 10 you realize the pain in your chest is the sad clown face of blood on your shirt from rubbing your nipples bare.
• 2. The strategy that you will be using for the race is to keep up with the Kenyans for 5 miles, bag the time, and take it easy from there.
• 1. Your race attire prominently says "Beer".