• 10. When you look down in the shower all you see is belly and the tip of your second toe.
• 9. You have a 0% chance of putting on your shoes without sitting in a chair.
• 8. You pull a hamstring going to get the mail.
• 7. You’re legs rub together so much you’re not allowed to enter California for fear of starting fires.
• 6. You have the only pair of D cups that I don’t care to see.
• 5. You contemplate hopping in one of those scooters every time you walk through the doors at Wal-Mart.
• 4. Your idea of a “long run” is when the local gas station is out of cigarettes and you have to go across town to get a carton.
• 3. Your knees left a suicide note on the bathroom counter.
• 2. When you go over to your aunt’s house and sit on her cushioned toilet seat it sounds like a truck just let out its air brakes.
• 1. You were passed at your last 5K by the 7 year old kid picking up the cones at the end of the race.

• 10. Breakfast…McDonalds. Lunch….McDonalds. Dinner…..McDonalds.
• 9. While waiting in the start corral you are wondering if wearing a brand new pair of shoes is a good idea.
• 8. Training program: 1 mile a day, 2 mile long run on the second Tuesday of next week.
• 7. You realize the night before that a marathon is 26.2 miles NOT 2.62.
• 6. Your training book is “You can finish a Marathon” by Richard Simmons.
• 5. At every aid station you take a gatorade, a water, and a nap.
• 4. You start to taper your training 6 months ahead of the race.
• 3. The strategy that you will be using for the race is to keep up with the Kenyans for 5 miles, bag the time, and take it easy from there.
• 2. At mile 10 you realize the pain in your chest is the sad clown face of blood on your shirt from rubbing your nipples bare.
• 1. Flat Red Bull before the race: Good. Red Bull and Vodka before the race: Bad.

The gun goes off and everything changes… the world changes… and nothing else really matters.
Patti Sue Plummer

Most people run a race to see who is fastest. I run a race to see who has the most guts.
Steve Prefontaine

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Jules Renard

Pressure is nothing more than the shadow of great opportunity.
Michael Johnson

The will to win means nothing if you haven’t the will to prepare.
Juma Ikangaa, 1989 NYC Marathon winner

No negative thoughts cross my mind on race day. When I look into their eyes, I know I’m going to beat them.
Danny Harris

Quotes on Pain and Pleasure in Running

It hurts up to a point and then it doesn’t get any worse.
Ann Trason

I always loved running…it was something you could do by yourself, and under your own power. You could go in any direction, fast or slow as you wanted, fighting the wind if you felt like it, seeking out new sights just on the strength of your feet and the courage of your lungs.
Jesse Owens

If you start to feel good during an ultra, don’t worry, you will get over it.
Gene Thibeault

Miscellaneous Running Quotes

I cannot have survival as my only goal. That would be too boring. My goal is to come back in my best running form. It is good for me to have that goal; it will help me.
Ludmila Engquist (Olympic champion hurdler facing cancer)

There are clubs you can’t belong to, neighborhoods you can’t live in, schools you can’t get into, but the roads are always open.
Nike Ad

The woods are lovely dark and deep, but I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost (metaphorical)

We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.
Will Rogers

Cross Country Quotes

The start of a World Cross Country event is like riding a horse in the middle of a buffalo stampede. It’s a thrill if you keep up, but one slip and you’re nothing but hoof prints.
Ed Eyestone

The freedom of Cross Country is so primitive. It’s woman vs. Nature.
Lynn Jennings

Stadiums are for spectators. We runners have nature and that is much better.
Juha Väätäinen, Finland

Marathon Quotes

To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who’s never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind.
Jerome Drayton

We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon.
Emil Zatopek

Marathoning is like cutting yourself unexpectedly. You dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when awareness comes, it is excruciating.
John Farrington, Australian marathoner

There is the truth about the marathon and very few of you have written the truth. Even if I explain to you, you’ll never understand it, you’re outside of it.
Douglas Wakiihuri speaking to journalists

You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can’t know what’s coming.
Frank Shorter

• Whopper with Fries (1,250 Calories)
• Large Popcorn at the Theater… withOUT butter (1,160 Calories)
• Two 64 oz Cokes (1,200 Calories)
• 12 Inch Subway Tuna Club and a Large Sprite (1,200 Calories)
• 3 Frappachinos from Starbucks (1,140 Calories)

There you have it. 10 miles down the drain with a few quick bites.

Does watching television make you feel like the Danny Devito of the male world? You feel fat, weak, and short compared to the bohunks on the big screen. Here are the real stats of the average man. This is either going to make you feel better or confirm you’re going to have to overachieve:

• Age when the average guy is in the best shape of his life: 23
• Percentage of men who consider themselves “physically fit”: 69%
• Percentage who actually are: 13%
• Time it takes the average guy to run a mile: 8 minutes, 34 seconds
• Amount he can bench-press: 135 pounds
• Number of situps he can do: 36
• Number of pushups he can do: 27
• Number of pullups he can do: 1
• Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if… they could build twice the muscle with half the effort: 40%
• Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if… women began wearing see-through spandex: 16%
• Size of the average guy’s biceps: 13 inches (flexed, at around 175 pounds)
• Size of his chest: 40 inches (inhaled, at around 175 pounds)
• Size of his waist: 34 inches (at around 175 pounds)
• The part of a man’s body that’s the biggest turn-on for the average woman: His butt
• The part the average guy spends the most time trying to develop: His chest
• Time period when the typical gym is least crowded: 10:00am to 11:30am
• Percentage of men who don’t belong to a gym: 88%
• Exercise equipment the average guy is most likely to own: dumbbells
• Number of men who have used their stationary bike in the past week: 1 in 3
• Number who haven’t hopped on the thing in at least 3 months: 1 in 6
• Percentage of men who use their fitness equipment as… a place to hang their clothes: 45%
• Percentage of men who use their fitness equipment as… a doorstop: 13%
• Amount of muscle the average sedentary guy loses each year: 1 pound
• Fat he gains each year: 1.1 pounds
• Resting heart rate of a fit man: 52 beats per minute
• Resting heart rate of a man who’s out of shape: 72 beats per minute
• Time it takes a fit man to log 8,000,000 heartbeats: 30 years
• Time it takes an out-of-shape man to log 8,000,000 heartbeats: 19 years
• Amount the average 40-year-old man would save each year in medical costs if he exercised regularly: $949
• Average cost of a 1-year gym membership: $648
• Number of men who would rather work out than have sex: 1 in 7
• Percentage of men and women who think that gyms are pickup joints: 14%
• Number of pushups the average man can do with good form* in 1 minute:
• Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Pushups 33 27 21 15 15
• Pounds the average 175-pound man (aka : average weight, average height is 5′9 1/2) can bench-press one time:
• Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Lb 180 158 143 128 116
• Number of situps the average man can do in 1 minute:
• Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Situps 40 36 31 26 20
• Time it takes the average American man to run 1.5 miles:
• Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Time 12:18 12:51 13:53 14:55 16:07
• The Average Guy is 34.4 years old and earns about $36,100 a year.
• He’s about 5-feet-9 and weighs 175 pounds.
• He’s married with two children and has $3,100 in the bank.
• Average height (male & female): 5′9″ / 5′4″
• Average weight (male & female): 175 / 150
• Male weight chart:
• Age: 20 to 29 yrs 30 to 39 yrs 40 to 49 yrs 50 to 59 yrs 60 to 69 yrs
• kilograms: 76 81.3 82.6 84 83.5
• pounds: 168 179 182 185 184
• Female weight chart:
• Age: 20 to 29 yrs 30 to 39 yrs 40 to 49 yrs 50 to 59 yrs 60 to 69 yrs
• kilograms: 59.8 65.5 67.7 71.7 68.9
• pounds: 132 144 149 158 152
• The life expectancy of the average man, born in…
• Year 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 1997
• Lifespan 65.6 66.6 67.1 70.0 71.8 73.6
• Women’s life spans have remained about 6 years longer than ours since 1950; a girl born in 1997 can expect to see age 79.4.
• Average man sleeps about 7 hours on a work night.

Information via Men’s Health

If there is one thing in this world that there is plenty of, it is plastic bags. And this young lady took her crochet skills and made the finest pair of sandals that can be built with the catchings of a Wal-Mart fence

Meet the girl who made them

Your local city has you dividing up your recyclable materials into little bins only to have a guy come by and dump them into one truck. Then they go through and pick through them and keep the stuff that’s worth recycling and throw the rest in the dump. The one thing they don’t take is one of the most useful, the soles of your shoes. They easily can be made into thousands of products including the obvious, more shoes.

Shoes make some of the best planters you’ll find. They drain well and hold the perfect amount of dirt to grow a nice flower. I’ve planted up one pair of my daughters shoes each year and have her plant up her favorite plant in each. Both the plants and my daughter are growing up so fast.

Necessity is the mother of invention. 3rd world countries often have a lack of shoes. Ideally you would donate your shoes to a charity that will distribute them but most seem to go to Africa leaving South America to come up with these cool shoes. They’re made of old tires and seat-belts.

Nike has a fantastic program called Reuse a shoe. Athletic shoes (not just Nike) are broken into three parts. The fabric top, the foam, and the rubber sole. Then are then ground into the “Nike Grind” and made into athletic surfaces. It takes roughly 2500 shoes to make a basketball court but can take up to 75,000 shoes to make a full 1/4 track surface. Ironic, running with my new shoes on my old shoes.

“While I regret the absence of Haile Gebrselassie, I respect his decision,” Rogge said in an interview with The Associated Press. “But the Games are far stronger than the individual. The marathon will be a great success and there will be a great champion.”

The 34-year-old Ethiopian runner, a two-time Olympic 10,000-metre champion, said earlier this month he won’t run the marathon at the Beijing Games because of the city’s air pollution, heat and humidity. He may still run in the 10,000.

“It’s going to be the hardest marathon in history,” said Gebrselassie, who holds the world record of two hours four minutes 26 seconds.

Pollution - in addition to the violence in Tibet and other human rights issues - has been a major concern for China and the International Olympic Committee in the leadup to the Aug. 8-24 Olympics. Some athletes are reportedly considering wearing masks to ward off the bad air in Beijing.

While Belgian tennis star Justine Henin has expressed concern that the pollution could aggravate her asthma, Rogge said the four-time French Open champion will definitely compete in Beijing and her “No. 1 goal” of the year is to win the gold medal.

The IOC released data last week indicating that air quality in Beijing is better than expected, but athletes in outdoor endurance events could face risks.

Rogge said the figures show there is “no danger whatsoever” for athletes competing in high-intensity events lasting under an hour, but that those involved in endurance events longer than that - such as the marathon, road cycling and triathlon - could be affected by poor air.

Rogge reiterated that if pollution levels surpass a certain threshold, those events could be postponed until the air clears. The men’s marathon is traditionally held on the final day of the Games.

“We could easily postpone for a couple of hours or start at an earlier hour,” he said. “I’m not very worried about that.”

You get to know every guy your age group that races regularly.  You start to categorize them them into 3 categories.  Guys I always beat.  Guys I will never beat.  Guys that it depends how the day is going if I can beat them.  When you get to the race you take a look around and count them out.  I usually know what place I’ll come in before I even run.   On races with good swag I pray that the category two runners have a little league game to go to so I can get the $2.75 trophy.

Birthdays are wonderful days.  I am not talking about my birthday but the birthdays of the guys that are older and faster.  There is nothing more rewarding than the fast 39 year old celebrating his 40th birthday.  Instantly you become a contender.  You didn’t gain an ounce of speed yet you move up on the podium.  You might say, what about the guys moving up into your age group? This is how I know you’re new to the age group thing.  I’m 38, the perfect age.  The 30-35 category is competitive but only because of the low 30 guys.  The 30-35 category is not as competitive as the 35-39 age group.  The same for the 40-45 which is a lot faster than the 35-39 group.  It’s after 45 that things start to slow down.

Playing against this “graduation” play is Boston.  It’s the dream of the age grouper. They problem with this scenario is it is based on time.  You only get extra time as you get older. I am training with the “just hold on” method.   Sure I can get faster but why not just stay the same speed and get older?  It’s a much easier way of doing it right?  You may not get faster but you always get older.

The Illinois marathon is a for profit race that is owned by a company that owns the legendary Fargo marathon (sarcasm). Despite this, I expect this to be one of the finest marathons around. One, the people of Champaign Urbana are some of the nicest people you’ll meet. The students support all the athletic events and will certainly show up to watch, volunteer, and run. Secondly, the locals are completely supporting this event, financially and through action. Body n Sole, the local running store, will make sure that all runners within 100 miles know about the event. With a draw or Indianapolis, Chicago, and St. Louis the race could become the biggest spring marathon in the Midwest after Grandma’s.

A few highlights of the course. Flat as a pancake because we don’t even have a hill in CU. The only way you see a hill if they make you run the parking garage. You’ll also get to finish at the 50 yard line of Memorial Stadium. Not quite the Speedway of Indy or running the bases at Wrigley but still going to be a great finish. I have heard rumors that Gatoraid will be the drink if that makes any difference. I’ll give more info as it come. Here’s the website

Athletes who take human growth hormone may not be getting the boost they expected.

While growth hormone adds some muscle, it doesn’t appear to improve strength or exercise capacity, according to a review of studies that tested the hormone in mostly athletic young men.

“It doesn’t look like it helps and there’s a hint of evidence it may worsen athletic performance,” said Dr. Hau Liu, of Santa Clara Valley Medical Center in San Jose, Calif., who was lead author of the review.

Researchers found that those who got the hormone put on about 5 pounds more of muscle, and lost about 2 pounds more of fat, although the fat loss wasn’t statistically different. The researchers said some of the extra body mass could just be fluid buildup.

There was no difference found in strength or exercise stamina between the two groups, but there were only two strength studies and eight that measured exercise. Those who got the hormone had more side effects including swelling and fatigue.

So let me get this straight. I am going to have to rely on diet and training to become a better runner? I can’t afford EPO so it looks like I am actually going to have to put in the miles. Looks like my one bottle of HGH and 1 mile run routine is going to have to be replaced with the 70 mile week again. I still am not going to stop wearing my speedo bikini that came with the HGH.