10. When you look down in the shower all you see is belly and the tip of your second toe

9. You have a 0% chance of putting on your shoes without sitting in a chair

8. You pull a hamstring going to get the mail

7. You’re legs rub together so much you’re not allowed to enter California for fear of starting fires

6. You have the only pair of D cups that I don’t care to see

5. You contemplate hopping in one of those scooters every time you walk through the doors at Wal-Mart

4. Your idea of a “long run” is when the local gas station is out of cigarettes and you have to go across town to get a carton.

3. Your knees left a suicide note on the bathroom counter

2. When you go over to Aunt Betty’s house and sit on her cushioned toilet seat it sounds like a truck just let out its air brakes

1. You were passed at your last 5K by the 7 year old kid picking up the cones at the end of the race

As you may expect I also have a job in addition to this site. I also began my heavy training schedule for the spring and summer running circuit. Going from 25 miles to 50 miles a week took its toll. Add an 80 hour work week to getting up at 4:30 to run 10 miles in the morning and you’ll see why I fell asleep before posting each night. I think my sleep has caught up and I’m ready to start writing again. Look for regular articles each day and more laughs and running stories ahead

Thanks

Shane

These signs are giving me the feeling it’s going to be a tough run

10. Breakfast..McDonalds Lunch….McDonalds Dinner…….McDonalds

9. While waiting in the start corral you are wondering if wearing a brand new pair of shoes is a good idea.

8. Training program: 1 mile a day, 2 mile long run on the second Tuesday of next week.

7. You realize the night before that a marathon is 26.2 miles NOT 2.62

6. Your training book is “You can finish a Marathon” by Richard Simmons

5. At every aid station you take a gatoraide, a water, and a nap

» Continue reading “10 Signs You May Not Finish the Marathon”

“We Can’t All Be Heroes Because Someone Has To Sit on the Curb and Clap as They Go By” -Will Rogers

“I’m going to go out a winner if I have to find a high school race to win my last race.”
Johnny Gray

“Inspirational Running Quotes” about Cross Country Running

The start of a World Cross Country event is like riding a horse in the middle of a buffalo stampede. It’s a thrill if you keep up, but one slip and you’re nothing but hoof prints.
Ed Eyestone

The freedom of Cross Country is so primitive. It’s woman vs. Nature.
Lynn Jennings

Stadiums are for spectators. We runners have nature and that is much better.
Juha Väätäinen, Finland

“Inspirational Running Quotes” about Marathon Running

To describe the agony of a marathon to someone who’s never run it is like trying to explain color to someone who was born blind.
Jerome Drayton

Marathon running is a terrible experience: monotonous, heavy, and exhausting.
Veikko Karvonen, 1954 European and Boston Marathon Champ

You have to forget your last marathon before you try another. Your mind can’t know what’s coming.
Frank Shorter

Marathoning is like cutting yourself unexpectedly. You dip into the pain so gradually that the damage is done before you are aware of it. Unfortunately, when awareness comes, it is excruciating.
John Farrington, Australian marathoner

There is the truth about the marathon and very few of you have written the truth. Even if I explain to you, you’ll never understand it, you’re outside of it.
Douglas Wakiihuri speaking to journalists

We are different, in essence, from other men. If you want to win something, run 100 meters. If you want to experience something, run a marathon.
Emil Zatopek

If you ran 10 miles today you probably burned about 1200 calories.  Just to remind you, here are some “break even” foods

1.  Whopper with Fries (1250 calories)

2. Large Popcorn at the Theatre (WithOUT butter) 1160 calories

3.  Two 64 oz Cokes (1200 calories)

4.  12 Inch Subway Tuna Club and a Large Sprite  (1200 Calories)

5.  3 Frappachinos from Starbucks (1140 calories)

There you have it.  10 Miles Down the drain in a few quick bites

Then you know what “Black toe” feels like. I get it all the time. It can be caused by tight socks or shoes but whatever the cause, it hurts. Jeff Galloway explains it as well as anyone

Over my 40 years of running, I’ve had hundreds of black toenails. The following is my advice in avoiding and treating this problem. This is offered as experience passed from one runner to another. You should always confer with a doctor who knows about running injuries when you have a medical problem.

Almost everyone who runs gets a black toenail. Getting your first one is a sign that you’ve moved your training into a higher level. While most runners blame a shoe that is too small, this is often not the primary cause. Certainly toe pressure from the shoe can make the toe hurt even more, but pressure from underneath seems to produce more black nails.

If a toe is under pressure from the shoe or a sock that is too tight or too thick, the sustained pressure, step after step, produces an impact or a friction problem between the toenail and the tissue surrounding it. When the tissue gets damaged, fluid accumulates. The red or black color is the result of a few blood capillaries that become broken in the process. The more fluid that accumulates, the more pain. The extra fluid, colored by some blood, accumulates below the toenail. When the pressure gets too great, the existing toenail will be separated from the “toenail in training,” which is located below the current nail. Even if it takes several months, the blackened outer nail will drop off, leaving the new nail below. Sometimes the pressure of the fluid, will warp the new nail, but it will get smoother as it grows out.

But most of the pressure that results in this “toenail injury” is produced by the regular action of the foot coming forward, thousands of times every 5K. Each time your foot swings forward, a little extra blood is pushed into the toe region due to the force of the foot coming forward. If you increase your distance regularly and very gradually, your toes will adjust to each new maximum distance and only complain when you extend farther. In a marathon training program, almost everyone gets at least one black toenail. Running faster than you should be running, at any time during a long run, will increase the chance of this injury.

Hot weather also improves your odds of getting one. When it’s warm, your feet swell more than they would on cold days. Because there is more pressure, and more fluid, there are more black nails generated during the summer months.

You’ll reduce the chance of a black nail if you ensure that you have enough room in your toe area when you fit your shoes. At least half an inch is needed, when you’re standing in the prospective shoes (in the sitting position, the toes aren’t all the way forward). If you’ve had a history of black toenails and summer is approaching (or here), you may want more toe room. When you add more room at the end, ensure that the arch of the shoe matches up with your arch. Also, run in the shoe before you buy it to make sure that your foot doesn’t slide forward as you’re running, which can aggravate the toe more than a tight toe box.

It’s best to take no action on black toenails, if the pain is manageable. About 24 hours after the long or fast run which produced the problem toe, you can decide whether the pain is tolerable. It usually lessens each day thereafter. About 80 percent of the black toe problems are best treated by ignoring them. The damaged part of the nail is gradually pushed out, and the foot slowly returns to normal. If at any point you see the redness associated with infection, see a doctor.

If the toe hurts too much, especially 24 hours later, you should release the pressure underneath by one of two methods. It’s always better to have this done by a doctor, but I’ve heard from hundreds of runners who’ve done this by themselves without any significant problems. It’s up to you.

1. If the edge of the fluid is near the tip of the toenail, a sharp sewing needle can do the job. Sterilize it by putting it in the flame of a match or lighter until the tip becomes red hot. Be sure to insulate the end of the needle so that you aren’t holding it directly with your fingers. After a couple of minutes, when the needle is cool, send it into the thin layer of skin, at the edge of the toenail, where you see water underneath. Let the water come out. Enlarge the hole slightly and insert some triple antibiotic cream up underneath, squeezing it around to speed up the healing time.

2. If the fluid is in the center of the nail, sterilize a paper clip by putting it in the flame of a match or lighter until the tip becomes red hot. As in # 1 above, make sure that your fingers are insulated from directly touching the paperclip. While it is red, place the clip into the center of the fluid area. It will quickly melt the nail, producing a nice round hole by which the fluid can escape. As in # 1 above, squirt some triple antibiotic cream underneath, squeezing it around to speed up the healing time.

These methods may seem like something out of a torture textbook, but they don’t have to hurt. Again, if you have any doubts, see a doctor.

I have done both of the above and compared to running with the pain, the draining is a piece of cake.

source

Does watching television make you feel  like the Danny Devito of the male world? You feel fat, weak, and short compared to the bohunks on the big screen. Here are the real stats of the average man. This is either going to make you feel better or confirm you’re going to have to overachieve

Age when the average guy is in the best shape of his life: 23

Percentage of men who consider themselves “physically fit“: 69

Percentage who actually are: 13

Time it takes the average guy to run a mile: 8 minutes, 34 seconds

Amount he can bench-press: 135 pounds

Number of situps he can do: 36

Pushups: 27

Pullups: 1

Percentage of men who would never skip another workout if… …they could build twice the muscle with half the effort: 40

…women began wearing see-through spandex: 16

Size of the average guy’s biceps: 13 inches (flexed, at around 175 pounds)

Size of his chest: 40 inches (inhaled, exhaled closer to 38 inches, at around 175 pounds)

Size of his waist: 34 inches (at around 175 pounds)

The part of a man’s body that’s the biggest turn-on for the average woman: His butt

The part the average guy spends the most time trying to develop: His chest

Time period when the typical gym is least crowded: 10 am to 11:30am

Percentage of men who don’t belong in a gym: 88

Exercise equipment the average guy is most likely to own: Dumbbells

Number of men who have used their stationary bike in the past week: 1 in 3

Number who haven’t hopped on the thing in at least 3 months: 1 in 6

Percentage of men who use their fitness equipment as… …a place to hang their clothes: 45
…a doorstop: 13

…a weapon: 8

Amount of muscle the average sedentary guy loses each year: 1 pound

Fat he gains each year: 1.1 pounds

Resting heart rate of a fit man: 52 beats per minute (BPM)

Resting heart rate of a man who’s out of shape: 72 BPM

Time it takes a fit man to log 8,000,000 heartbeats: 30 years

Time it takes an out-of-shape man: 19 years

Amount the average 40-year-old man would save each year in medical costs if he exercised regularly: $949 Average cost of a 1-year gym membership: $648

His net profit: $301

Number of men who would rather work out than have sex: 1 in 7

Percentage of men (and women) who think that gyms are pickup joints: 14

Number of pushups the average man can do with good form* in 1 minute:

Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Pushups 33 27 21 15 15

Pounds the average 175-pound man (aka : average weight, average height is 5′9 1/2) can bench-press one time:

Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Lb 180 158 143 128 116

Number of situps the average man can do in 1 minute:

Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Situps 40 36 31 26 20

Time it takes the average American man to run 1.5 miles:

Age 20-29 30-39 40-49 50-59 60-69 Time 12:18 12:51 13:53 14:55 16:07

The Average Guy has sex 1.5 times a week (79 times a year), and lasts about 14 minutes.
He has a 1-in-4.3 chance of cheating on his wife and enjoys a total of 12.4 sex partners throughout his life.
The odds that his wife will cheat on him are 1 in 8.3, and the average woman enjoys a total of four sex partners throughout her life.
The Average Guy is 34.4 years old and earns about $36,100 a year.
He’s about 5-feet-9 and weighs 175 pounds.
He’s married with two children and has $3,100 in the bank.
Average height (male & female): 5′9″ / 5′4″

Average weight (male & female): 175 / 150

Male weight chart:

Age: 20 to 29 yrs 30 to 39 yrs 40 to 49 yrs 50 to 59 yrs 60 to 69 yrs

kilograms: 76 81.3 82.6 84 83.5

pounds: 168 179 182 185 184

Female weight chart:

Age: 20 to 29 yrs 30 to 39 yrs 40 to 49 yrs 50 to 59 yrs 60 to 69 yrs

kilograms: 59.8 65.5 67.7 71.7 68.9

pounds: 132 144 149 158 152

The life expectancy of the average man, born in…

Year 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 1997

Lifespan 65.6 66.6 67.1 70.0 71.8 73.6

Women’s life spans have remained about 6 years longer than ours since 1950; a girl born in 1997 can expect to see age 79.4.

Average man sleeps about 7 hours on a work night.

Average penis: 5.877 inches

Information via Men’s Health

As a runner, I go through 3-5 pairs of running shoes a year. I try and wear the old ones to work or around the house but there comes a point where I have 5 or six pairs just lying around. Although they may no longer be good for running they’re good for something. Here are a few great recycling ideas for your shoes, either how to make good use of them or to how to make some new ones out of recycled material.

If there is one thing in this world that there is plenty of, it is plastic bags. And this young lady took her crochet skills and made the finest pair of sandals that can be built with the catchings of a Wal-Mart fence

Meet the girl who made them

Your local city has you dividing up your recyclable materials into little bins only to have a guy come by and dump them into one truck. Then they go through and pick through them and keep the stuff that’s worth recycling and throw the rest in the dump. The one thing they don’t take is one of the most useful, the soles of your shoes. They easily can be made into thousands of products including the obvious, more shoes.

Shoes make some of the best planters you’ll find. They drain well and hold the perfect amount of dirt to grow a nice flower. I’ve planted up one pair of my daughters shoes each year and have her plant up her favorite plant in each. Both the plants and my daughter are growing up so fast.

Necessity is the mother of invention. 3rd world countries often have a lack of shoes. Ideally you would donate your shoes to a charity that will distribute them but most seem to go to Africa leaving South America to come up with these cool shoes. They’re made of old tires and seat-belts.

Nike has a fantastic program called Reuse a shoe. Athletic shoes (not just Nike) are broken into three parts. The fabric top, the foam, and the rubber sole. Then are then ground into the “Nike Grind” and made into athletic surfaces. It takes roughly 2500 shoes to make a basketball court but can take up to 75,000 shoes to make a full 1/4 track surface. Ironic, running with my new shoes on my old shoes.

ANCIENT OLYMPIA, Greece — The Olympic marathon in Beijing won’t be tarnished by world record-holder Haile Gebrselassie’s decision to skip the event because of pollution concerns, IOC president Jacques Rogge said Monday.

“While I regret the absence of Haile Gebrselassie, I respect his decision,” Rogge said in an interview with The Associated Press. “But the Games are far stronger than the individual. The marathon will be a great success and there will be a great champion.”

The 34-year-old Ethiopian runner, a two-time Olympic 10,000-metre champion, said earlier this month he won’t run the marathon at the Beijing Games because of the city’s air pollution, heat and humidity. He may still run in the 10,000.

“It’s going to be the hardest marathon in history,” said Gebrselassie, who holds the world record of two hours four minutes 26 seconds.

Pollution - in addition to the violence in Tibet and other human rights issues - has been a major concern for China and the International Olympic Committee in the leadup to the Aug. 8-24 Olympics. Some athletes are reportedly considering wearing masks to ward off the bad air in Beijing. » Continue reading “Olympic Marathon Will Still Be a Success Despite Controversy Says IOC President”

I am an age grouper, plain and simple.  As a matter of fact I am the 3rd fasted runner in my age group in the area despite the distance.  How do I know this?  Because I have come in 3rd in my age group in 15 out of 20 races.  In two years I will move to 5th unless someone get hurt.  This is one of the things you learn as a regular on the local running tour.

You get to know every guy your age group that races regularly.  You start to categorize them them into 3 categories.  Guys I always beat.  Guys I will never beat.  Guys that it depends how the day is going if I can beat them.  When you get to the race you take a look around and count them out.  I usually know what place I’ll come in before I even run.   On races with good swag I pray that the category two runners have a little league game to go to so I can get the $2.75 trophy. » Continue reading “The Life and Time of an Age Grouper”